Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
That's not green barf... that's avocado!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Things I have learned in the past 24 hours:
- Charles hates the nose suction bulb thingy
- A small child can produce a lot of snot when teething
- The dog doesn't like it when Charles is unhappy
- It is nearly impossible to photograph new teeth on a squirmy baby. Evidence:
Charles' overworked immune system while teething has made way for a bothersome cold to stuff up his bitty sinuses. The fact that he can't breathe through his nose makes it tough to nurse or to suck a binky, which makes sleeping doubly tough. However, I think we turned a corner last night - my little man, who had been so sad all day long, was briefly back to his old, giggly self, making faces in the mirror and reaching for the dog. I actually stayed in his room through his evening nap (the first he had taken laying down in 48 hours) to make sure that he didn't stop breathing. And, of course, he slept with me in bed all night, the humidifier going full blast.
Things to which I am looking forward after tax season is over:
- Spending more time with Tony. Fancy that, we actually enjoy each other's company
- A date night once in awhile
- Watching Tony and Charles play - Charles lights up whenever Tony is in the room. Say what you want about mama's boys, this kid loves his daddy :-)
- Running with Buster (after Tony's captain class, so we have a few more weeks)
- Going to the gym in the evening when Tony gets home
- Finishing a multitude of house projects, including gardening, baseboards in the bedrooms, refinishing the bed set, and too many more to enumerate
- Picnic dinners on the back deck
- Watching Tony's softball games
- Reading a book once in awhile
One more full day. Tony had thought he might even spend the whole night at the office last night (*gasp*), but he was home by 3:30 or so. While I hear every move Charles makes, I don't even hear Tony come in and am frequently surprised when he shows up in bed. Or, like the other night, when I got up to check on Charles because he was crying and was startled to see someone holding him! It was Tony, back home at 2:30. He's lucky I didn't scream :-)
We got some great news last night: Charles' newest cousin (due late August) is going to be a BOY!!! We are ecstatic! We were truly happy about the prospect of another little one anyhow, but now that we know it's a boy, we can't help but be super excited about all the fun cousin-things Charles will get to do in the future:
- Gang up on his girl-cousin, Claire
- Play boy toys and games
- Build forts
- Collect gross things
- Be daredevils
- And so much more... including drive their parents nuts
Welcome to the family, kid. By the time you are old enough to care, your uncle Tony will have a sailboat, and you can come crew with your cousin Charles in the summer. I'll bake you my famous cookies, you can play with the dog(s - we will probably have more by then, as we will eventually upgrade our house and yard size), get super muddy and fish-smelly, and then go look for Sasquatch in the woods. It's a wonderful life.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
This tax season has certainly taken its toll on us. I have a strong, renewed respect for single parents of small children, because I have had a glimpse of what they deal with on a daily basis, and it is tough. Of course, I did it with an extra income (and extra laundry) and the knowledge that Tony would be home at some point in the night to cuddle, even if not for long. Still, I can't even explain how hard it is to be without support system on a daily basis while being a first-time parent. All the second-guessing has no outlet, and I nearly lost it. Also, I am convinced that if I was able to get to the gym in the evening a few times a week, I would not be such a fatty. I find that my fuse is short these days, and the self-hatred and bitter envy of skinny women and women who bounce back from pregnancy super quick burn hot. I am almost to the point of breaking my own rule and purchasing new clothes before I hit my target weight because I don't have much left to wear. I am too small for the clothes I wore immediately post-partum, but much too big to fit into old clothes. Sigh.
The past few days have been extra tough because Charles is teething. He has two showing on his bottom jaw, and it is truly amazing how this affects him. He will be perfectly content for a couple of hours and then - all of the sudden - BAM! VERY UNHAPPY CHILD. He shrieks until the baby tylenol takes hold and then he usually drops off to sleep. Poor guy. I admit that I will miss his gummy smile. Babies with teeth just aren't as cute as before. I think that's another area where I am a little sad - Charles has gotten so big, so fast, that I was able to take comfort in a few small things. Things like, he still has a gummy smile, or he still snuggles in close to sleep. Now, he is 20 lbs and still can't sit up, thus providing me little relief in the carrying-around department (we bought a backpack this weekend because I still need to carry him in the grocery store and he is too big for the Baby Bjorn, and there is no one else to do the shopping), he likes to sleep all spread out, he can soothe himself to sleep in his crib with little or no crying (suck it, cry it out methods - our baby still knows I am there for him!), and he has teeth. Pretty soon, he won't want to nurse (dooming me to lose the weight on my own) and he won't want to cuddle. Why can't he grow up in the normal ways, like sleeping through the night? Instead, people just think he is a developmentally-challenged 18-month-old.
Charles is a wonderful boy with a sunny personality, always happy and smiling with no attachment issues like stranger-distrust at all. I know he will have an excellent life. But I also feel a bit cheated out of the early stages because I was doing it all alone and he grew so quickly. I see my other friends' babies who are only 11 pounds at two months (Charles was almost 12 lbs by the time he was 3 weeks old) and I am sad. They will get to enjoy all those baby clothes so much longer than we did, they will be able to carry their child in the front pack much longer, they will be able to hold off solid foods until the recommended time, and most of all, they will do it with their spouses there every night, to help establish a bedtime routine, to share in the short-lived baby period, to reassure each other that their baby is not a freak whose only possible career track is NFL lineman. We missed that, it went so fast and I was all alone. I just hope it will be a bit different next time. Genetics and chosen professions are not on my side, though.
Well, thanks for reading my pity party. Wednesday's the day, and then Tony gets to babysit Thursday afternoon before starting his class on Friday. Then, once captain status is reestablished, Tony will be cruisin as backup on the Deception Pass Tours this summer - probably only one weekend a month or so, but fun nonetheless.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I think daycare is going to work out just fine. However, I am a bit worried about the teenage years. We've got a little Casanova on our hands...
The daycare is great, the staff are wonderful, and the women in the infant room have both been there for 2 years, giving me faith that Charles will be able to attach to one or both of them, rather than having a revolving-door of caretakers. And yet. I still wonder if I am doing the right thing.
The other side, of course, is that I want him to experience life, to not be attached to my hip for years, to love trying new things without fear. This is a first step, and it will make the transition to school and overnights with grandparents that much easier in the future. He might learn to be a bit more self-reliant (although he is already showing quite a bit of this, beginning to put himself to sleep in his crib all alone, spending time playing while I vacuum 0r dust, and more). He will probably have a lot of fun playing with new toys. And, he is fascinated by other children, so he'll get a chance to be around them. I anticipate some colds in the next few weeks, but it is good to challenge his immune system, and I have never been one who believes in sheltering a child from germs. As Tony says, the kids who never get sick are the ones who eat dirt. The kids who are always sick are the ones whose moms wipe their hands with antibacterial wipes all the time.
Anyhow, what will I do with my five hours? Besides worry about my baby, I mean... Well, first I will get my hair cut (long overdue) and then I will go to work at Goodwinds, where I will frantically do as much as possible on the marketing before taking a 15-minute break to pump breastmilk and then head off to my other job at the Chamber until 4:45, at which point I will head back to the daycare to pick up Charles. It's a constant go-go-go around here.
In a couple of months, maybe sooner, I will add Wednesday afternoons to our daycare schedule (currently only Tuesday and Thursday) so I can do even more work. Businesses don't run themselves, you know.
I'll let you all know how the first day of daycare goes. Until then, wish me luck.
Gratuitous photo of Charles using Tony's ears as handlebars:
Friday, April 3, 2009
AND... we decided to invest in cloth diapers! Now, these are not your mama's cloth diapers. There are no pins, no folding, and no rubber pants. They are colorful and very absorbent, have loads of snaps, and fun little inserts. Also, they will save us a boatload of money. We figured out, based on the diapers we have purchased so far and estimates of increasing costs as the diapers get larger and more complicated (pull-ups, for example), that we would end up spending anywhere from $1200 to $2000 on diapers between now and Charles' 3rd birthday, not to mention what we will spend on the next baby, and these diapers are designed to last through multible children. So, instead we spent $450 on 24 "one size" FuzziBunz diapers that are adjustable to fit a 7 lb to 35 lb baby. Now, I can see how they would be a bit bulky on a 7 lb baby, but nonetheless, much cheaper. Also, they came with 24 cloth wipes, which, if we had used sooner, might have saved us that horrible diaper-rash incident of long ago.