Tony thinks I should delete that last post... It's not representative of me, he says. And he's right. I am generally a very happy person. Granted, I thought I would be a sassy, beautiful pregnant woman, basking in my fertile glow all the time, and that has SO not been the case. But still. Mostly happy.
I'm just having one of those days, you know?
I'll sleep tonight, and tomorrow will be better.
In the mean time, you can read some of my "dirty laundry" here. At least I am not posting graphic accounts of my pelvic exams and other such things one might see on a blog written by a pregnant gal. Hell, I can't even stand to be photographed. No threat of hoo-ha stories here...
Friday, June 6, 2008
One of Those Days
I didn't sleep well last night... not abnormal, in my current hip-hurting, peeing every couple of hours state. Buster is back, with a vengeance, and he was sure awake and ready to go at 5 am. My mom was kind enough to let him out that early, but I had to yell at him to stop him barking at God-knows-what at 5:15 am in the back yard. I am glad to see him happy again, but I wish he would just wait until 7 to get crazy, that's all. Mom and I saw Indiana Jones last night (and loved it), but we were out late, and I sure did belch my Costco hot dog all evening long.
Buuurp! I figure I only have another month or so before the indignity of my "condition" spreads beyond gastro-intestinal issues to other such lovelies... like getting kicked in the bladder and wetting my pants, probably in a business meeting with the mayor or something.
All that to say that I am tired, and that fatigue brings out the worst in me. No, that's not true. Hunger has always brought out Mega Bitch Amelia. I have nearly committed cold-blooded murder for a sandwich before, and I felt totally justified in contemplating such a thing because, well, I was hungry. You just shouldn't mess with a woman's blood sugar, that's all I'm saying.
Now, if I am hungry, I will most likely cry, because, damn, it hurts! But today I will most likely cry anyhow, because I am tired, and the weepy, worried Amelia is out today (much like we say the mountain is out when it is a clear day). For instance, I am now close to tears thinking about how fortunate I am that I have enough money to buy food to feed this growling, growing belly and the little person inside of me-- what do poor pregnant women do? Shit, now I am thinking about hungry people the world over, and what am I doing having a baby when I should just take the extra food I have to eat for this child to grow and give it to someone who needs it?
I also got up early today for a meeting, went to work late due to said meeting, where I have the daunting, near-impossible task of selling advertising. I hate selling. And then my mom called, and my dog had eaten through my phone charger cord, the only charger I have, so now I have to buy a new one, and dammit! That dog is getting so expensive (and then my mom gave me money because, she says, the culprit might have been Alli. Which is true, but I feel badly that I can't even really afford my life so my parents take pity on me). What was I thinking when we got a dog? Plus, my phone is so old and beat up that AT&T probably doesn't even sell a charger for it anymore, but we can't afford for me to upgrade my phone. This is in total conflict with the fact that I love my dog, and we should probably rescue a lot more dogs from the shelter because they need someone to love them, too. I can't stand the thought of them living in the shelter all their lives, or starving on the streets. *sob*
And now we're back to food, which reminds me of my flabby silhouette, and the fact that I literally cannot wear anything that is not maternity at this point. Also expensive. *tear*
Can I have a do-over please? If not for life over the past few months, at least for today? I need more sleep, but mostly I think I want to wait to have kids until I am paid what I'm worth so that we can afford to move wall outlets more than one foot from the ground throughout our house so that I can plug my phone in and set it on a flat surface that is not my floor so that Buster can't eat it. Also, to buy a car that will fit both a large dog and a child, to remodel the kitchen, and to not be so fat. And to be able to donate thousands of dollars to the local animal shelter, buy a large ranch and rescue sad, beaten dogs, and feed the hungry. Please? Maybe just a nap, then? Oh, that's not in the cards, either? *waaahhh*
Buuurp! I figure I only have another month or so before the indignity of my "condition" spreads beyond gastro-intestinal issues to other such lovelies... like getting kicked in the bladder and wetting my pants, probably in a business meeting with the mayor or something.
All that to say that I am tired, and that fatigue brings out the worst in me. No, that's not true. Hunger has always brought out Mega Bitch Amelia. I have nearly committed cold-blooded murder for a sandwich before, and I felt totally justified in contemplating such a thing because, well, I was hungry. You just shouldn't mess with a woman's blood sugar, that's all I'm saying.
Now, if I am hungry, I will most likely cry, because, damn, it hurts! But today I will most likely cry anyhow, because I am tired, and the weepy, worried Amelia is out today (much like we say the mountain is out when it is a clear day). For instance, I am now close to tears thinking about how fortunate I am that I have enough money to buy food to feed this growling, growing belly and the little person inside of me-- what do poor pregnant women do? Shit, now I am thinking about hungry people the world over, and what am I doing having a baby when I should just take the extra food I have to eat for this child to grow and give it to someone who needs it?
I also got up early today for a meeting, went to work late due to said meeting, where I have the daunting, near-impossible task of selling advertising. I hate selling. And then my mom called, and my dog had eaten through my phone charger cord, the only charger I have, so now I have to buy a new one, and dammit! That dog is getting so expensive (and then my mom gave me money because, she says, the culprit might have been Alli. Which is true, but I feel badly that I can't even really afford my life so my parents take pity on me). What was I thinking when we got a dog? Plus, my phone is so old and beat up that AT&T probably doesn't even sell a charger for it anymore, but we can't afford for me to upgrade my phone. This is in total conflict with the fact that I love my dog, and we should probably rescue a lot more dogs from the shelter because they need someone to love them, too. I can't stand the thought of them living in the shelter all their lives, or starving on the streets. *sob*
And now we're back to food, which reminds me of my flabby silhouette, and the fact that I literally cannot wear anything that is not maternity at this point. Also expensive. *tear*
Can I have a do-over please? If not for life over the past few months, at least for today? I need more sleep, but mostly I think I want to wait to have kids until I am paid what I'm worth so that we can afford to move wall outlets more than one foot from the ground throughout our house so that I can plug my phone in and set it on a flat surface that is not my floor so that Buster can't eat it. Also, to buy a car that will fit both a large dog and a child, to remodel the kitchen, and to not be so fat. And to be able to donate thousands of dollars to the local animal shelter, buy a large ranch and rescue sad, beaten dogs, and feed the hungry. Please? Maybe just a nap, then? Oh, that's not in the cards, either? *waaahhh*
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Buster Update
Well, just as you and I might catch a virus and have the "stomach flu" for a few days (which is not really the flu, but a misleading colloquialism), so has Buster. Poor guy spent the night with the doctor and will have another night with him to clear out his system... gross. The Doc said he didn't think we would want to deal with the mess of a squirty dog, and he needs to be observed so that he doesn't get dehydrated or anything.
But the good news is that he will live, and is already feeling better. Hooray!
But the good news is that he will live, and is already feeling better. Hooray!
Monday, June 2, 2008
Little Bear in Jail
That's what our vet calls it: spending a night in jail. Buster is being given some sort of stomach medicine and then will be watched overnight to see if anything changes. He seemed to perk up a little bit on the short ride to the vet's office, but man, what a difference from our usual, hyper, stubborn dog! He buried his snout in my chest and just sat there as Dr. Ray poked all sorts of things in his butt. Poor guy. We'll know tomorrow if he needs more tests or if he's gonna be okay.
Sick bear
Buster's not okay. I spent a good while crying last night because he is just so sick and it hurts me so much. He has an appointment at the vet today at 3 because they couldn't get him in earlier... poor guy. He had a bone from Tony's steak on Friday night and has not eaten anything since. He is lethargic and sad looking. I tear up just thinking about him, and three o'clock can't come too soon.
It has really caused me to think about how much I love him and how attached to him I am... I couldn't stand to lose him. If this is how I feel about my dog, how am I supposed to deal with my own child, a baby who will probably get sick and hurt much more often than Buster?
Please send good thoughts our way. I am so upset that he is hurting.
It has really caused me to think about how much I love him and how attached to him I am... I couldn't stand to lose him. If this is how I feel about my dog, how am I supposed to deal with my own child, a baby who will probably get sick and hurt much more often than Buster?
Please send good thoughts our way. I am so upset that he is hurting.
Friday, May 30, 2008
I love this dog
From the Buster Files: 
All done, drying time...
Snooooooozxszxth... (yes, that's our bed)
My Cuddle Bucket...
Yay, hose time!
All done, drying time...Snooooooozxszxth... (yes, that's our bed)
My Cuddle Bucket...
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Complain? Me? Never...
So we are about to hit the 16-week mark on this lovely journey of pregnancy, which means all sorts of fun tests for me... yay! More blood drawn, more peeing in cups. Par for the course, I guess.
Lately I have been less tired (though still tired), hungrier, and pained. Yes, pained. My hips are getting wider, not in the sense that I am packing on the saddlebags, but in the sense that the bones in my hips and pelvis are actually moving apart. Ouch! This has caused me to have some pretty severe tailbone pain when I sit for too long, for instance, when I am at work. All day. Oh, yeah, and heartburn? We met each other for the first time in the history of me this week. Foul symptom, I knew not what you were, but now that I do, I hate you. Add that to the vivid dreams I've been having and whoa, I am so pregnant! We watched I am Legend the other day and I had nightmares about zombies and dead dogs all night long. I am hoping that after we see Indiana Jones next week I won't experience similarly unpleasant dreams about Nazis.
I think Buster is catching on to the pregnancy thing. He doesn't jump on me anymore, and he has sure gotten cuddly lately. He now sleeps at the foot of our bed (not actually on the bed, but on a dog bed at the foot of it) most of the night instead of his couch. Kinda sweet, but I also miss the frantic, crazy Buster a bit. I've got some good photos I'll post later.
Wish us luck as we go into the whole testing phase in the next weeks (I wish I could study for something like this-- I was always good at tests) and pray that we don't have a Down's Syndrome baby or any other malformity. As if there wasn't enough other stuff to worry about. Like, I had a turkey sandwich today (strictly off-limits due to Listeria possibilities) because I was on a field trip and the box lunches provided included no vegetarian meals (which would not have had Listeria), so not only was I exposed to potential baby-killing bacteria by the mere fact of eating a turkey sandwich, but also the sandwich had been sitting with 45 others under a bus for at least 4 hours. I fail motherhood already.
Lately I have been less tired (though still tired), hungrier, and pained. Yes, pained. My hips are getting wider, not in the sense that I am packing on the saddlebags, but in the sense that the bones in my hips and pelvis are actually moving apart. Ouch! This has caused me to have some pretty severe tailbone pain when I sit for too long, for instance, when I am at work. All day. Oh, yeah, and heartburn? We met each other for the first time in the history of me this week. Foul symptom, I knew not what you were, but now that I do, I hate you. Add that to the vivid dreams I've been having and whoa, I am so pregnant! We watched I am Legend the other day and I had nightmares about zombies and dead dogs all night long. I am hoping that after we see Indiana Jones next week I won't experience similarly unpleasant dreams about Nazis.
I think Buster is catching on to the pregnancy thing. He doesn't jump on me anymore, and he has sure gotten cuddly lately. He now sleeps at the foot of our bed (not actually on the bed, but on a dog bed at the foot of it) most of the night instead of his couch. Kinda sweet, but I also miss the frantic, crazy Buster a bit. I've got some good photos I'll post later.
Wish us luck as we go into the whole testing phase in the next weeks (I wish I could study for something like this-- I was always good at tests) and pray that we don't have a Down's Syndrome baby or any other malformity. As if there wasn't enough other stuff to worry about. Like, I had a turkey sandwich today (strictly off-limits due to Listeria possibilities) because I was on a field trip and the box lunches provided included no vegetarian meals (which would not have had Listeria), so not only was I exposed to potential baby-killing bacteria by the mere fact of eating a turkey sandwich, but also the sandwich had been sitting with 45 others under a bus for at least 4 hours. I fail motherhood already.
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