Birthday Wishes

Okay, okay, if I’m being honest, all I really wish for in life is for my babies to lead long, happy, healthy lives and for me to be around long enough to experience that.  It’s my only prayer, every night.

 

But!  It’s my birthday, and again with the honesty, I “wish” for a whole lot more that doesn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of happening.  Here are my wishes:

 

1.  I wish my morning skin were my all-day skin.

 

Disregarding pillow creases and drool tracks, my face is unlined, even-toned, and mostly blemish-free first thing in the morning.  By the evening, wrinkles and furrows make me look ten years older, my forehead is shiny, and I have six new pimples.

 

2.  I wish my period boobs were my everyday boobs.

 

Or that my newly-pregnant boobs were my everyday boobs.  Those times are good to my cleavage.  I should probably take this desire to mean that it’s time to invest in some new bras with better support.

 

3.  I wish my morning body were my all-day body.

 

God, why don’t I just go on morning dates with my husband?  I should always go dancing in the morning, too (not that I often go dancing).  And make sure that all photos taken of me are done so in the morning.  The day is just backward for me.  The later it gets, the less I am able to suck in my spare tire.

 

4.  I wish waxing were forever.

 

Seriously, I don’t ever want to wax my upper lip again.

 

5.  I wish vacuuming were forever.

 

Or at least that the results of vacuuming lasted longer than one day.

 

6.  I wish that one grocery store trip would last the entire week.

 

I try to make a comprehensive list and meal-plan, but no matter what I plan, I will make a minimum of four trips to a grocery store each week.  It will probably be more now, since Costco and Fred Meyer are on the other side of the bridge, and I refuse to even attempt to drive Burlington Boulevard.

 

7.  I wish I weren’t so tired all the time.

 

Yeah, I’m getting old.  And it’s all downhill from here.

 

Happy birthday to me!

 

P.S. Do you know what I didn’t wish for but got anyway?  My kid’s bloody nose dripping all over the carpet first thing this morning.  So now I have carpet cleaning to look forward to this afternoon.