Outnumbered

Approximately two years ago, I left Tony and Charles for a week to go on a cruise with three girlfriends in the Caribbean.  Last night, after a few missteps, Tony and three friends left for a week-long trip to Southern Utah to hike, camp, and presumably, fart in wilderness.

 

(I just assume that farting in the great outdoors is every man’s list of “things that comprise a perfect day.”)

 

Tony, of course, didn’t pack before last night.  He also had to install a cover on the bed of his truck (thank goodness he had a buddy to help) between the time he got home from work (6 pm) and leaving for the trip (7 pm) and he forgot to pack snacks, so I took care of that.  He made a couple of return trips to grab the extra-large-Costco bottle of Scotch for the trip, as well as things like the camera and his shoes.  Men.

 

And now he’s gone.  They were somewhere in the middle of Idaho this morning at seven.  He’s left me with these monkeys:

 

 

When I left Tony with Charles three years ago, it was one-on-one.  One parent, one kid.  I have taken an overnight (even two overnights!) and left Tony before, and he has done the same, but this will be the longest either of us has parented two kids solo.  I’m not scared.  Or even intimidated, really.  After all, I’m the mom and mom can be a bitch, but mom is also awesome.  (Mom thinks this is the perfect excuse to make cookies.)

 

Plus, mom doesn’t forget the diaper bag.  While I was on the cruise, Tony’s parents came for a visit (which provided Tony and Charles some much-needed distraction from each other, I’m sure) and they went out to dinner.  Tony forgot the diaper bag.  Guess what Charles did?  Yep.  Giant stinking poopy diaper.  I can’t remember if Tony said he wiped out the dirty diaper (we use cloth, remember) and put it back on the kid, or just shoved some toilet paper in Charles’s pants and hoped he was done for the short term, but either way, I laughed.  I laugh still. 

 

I have an emergency diaper in my car and in my desk at the office.  Moms are probably at an advantage with the spare diapers and remembering the diaper bag thing, though.  After all, I have had tampons stashed in every car I’ve owned for years and always remember to take my purse when I go out.

 

Parenting is an endurance sport.  With the first baby, you are just starting your “Couch to 5K” training.  You make mistakes, you forget your water bottle, you don’t have the right shoes.  By child number two, you are running marathons, and you don’t forget to hydrate fully.  It will be a stretch, but I’m ready for this crazy week without Tony.  It won’t be relaxing, we have a ton of stuff planned, but it will be fun.