We have almost made it through our long weekend alone. The weekend included a few small errands (mama needed more salsa to get me through), some working, some visiting with friends, some long walks, a dead car battery, and lots of this:
In many ways, this weekend was very difficult. It’s isolating to have a newborn. Every trip out of the house requires about six million steps and double-checks before we can step out the door and I am out of practice. I can totally scream “Get your shoes on and get in the car!” while simultaneously brushing my teeth and starting the dishwasher with the ease of long-established habit, but I’m having to relearn the getting out with a baby stuff.
Getting up with a newborn in the middle of the night alone is tough, too. I rely on Tony to change Freddie’s diaper before I get up to feed him so that I have a chance to go to the bathroom and put myself in a loving mindset to take care of my baby for the next 45 minutes or so. Without him, I forget steps, like putting on my glasses, and that makes things tougher.
On the other hand, this weekend has been easier than most. Although I have missed Charles and Jamie terribly, not having to meet their needs has been freeing. I have focused on myself and Freddie, and that has been truly wonderful. The laundry is caught up, the dishes are done, and the floor is clean. I haven’t had to make dinner for anyone but me, and it turns out that all the meals I’ve consumed have been extremely low effort. Chips and salsa, broccoli salad, frozen cheeseless pizza… it will be tough to go back to cooking a real meal tonight.
Last night, after dealing with my dead battery and abandoning my evening’s plans (which included a birthday party, such a bummer), I ate some dinner and curled up on the couch. What mother of three is allowed to take a nap at 6 PM with her baby? It was perfect. Even though this weekend included lots of loneliness and tears, I’m happy I got this time alone with my Freddie.
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