Squishy Squash

My children love squash.  I told Charles once, long ago, that it was “nature’s candy” because it was so sweet and I guess that convinced him.  He will happily request it as a vegetable with dinner and he laments the summers when we can’t buy acorn, delicata, or carnival squash.

 

I really, really like butternut squash, but it’s a bit more difficult for the kids to enjoy.  It’s more dense, for one thing, and not as sweet, for another.  Charles and Jamie gamely make their ways through a serving of butternut squash, but never a very big one, and never seconds.  Smaller, sweeter varieties are where it’s at for my boys.

 

The last butternut squash I cooked was HUGE, so there were lots of leftovers.  Despite the looks of disgust on my older boys’ faces, I made muffins with that leftover squash and I am now claiming to be a genius of the highest order.  I’ll share my magic with you because you, too, deserve to eat awesome (healthy-ish) muffins.

 

 

Butternut Squash Muffins

 

2 Cups cooked butternut squash

1 Cup milk (I used whole milk)

1 1/2 Cups whole wheat flour

1/2 Cup sugar

2 Teaspoons baking powder

1/4 Teaspoons salt

2 Teaspoons pumpkin pie spice

1 Beaten egg

2 Tablespoons melted butter

 

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.  Mix dry ingredients together.  Puree squash with the milk (an immersion blender works nicely for this).  Add egg, butter, and squash puree to the dry ingredients and mix well.  Spoon mixture into lined or greased muffin tins.  Bake for 20 minutes.  Makes 12 muffins.

Chocoholic

It’s National Chocolate Day.  We interrupt our usual complaints about life to bring you these important chocolate-related distractions:

 

Mug Cake.  I probably don’t need to say any more.  I mean, those two tiny words imply volumes.  Cake?  In a MUG?  Yes, and in the microwave, too.  I *might* be the type of person who eats her feelings, and this cake has served as a “fuck you all, I’m having cake” cake and an “Aaaagh!  I can’t take it anymore, I need cake” cake.  Other occasions for mug cake include: “I’m exhausted,” “I hate ironing,” “These fruit flies are seriously driving me nuts,” “Why won’t the dog stop barking?” and “I’m pretty sure there’s something spilled under the couch but I just can’t right now.”

 

Use a big mug.  One of those stupid, oversize ones that are only ever used for soup and novelty gifts (or use a soup bowl, but don’t use a standard mug) (maybe this should be re-titled “bowl cake”).  Mix 1/4 C flour, 1/4 cup sugar, 2 T cocoa powder, 1/2 tsp baking powder, and a pinch of salt together.  Add 3 T melted butter, 3 T whole milk or cream or half-and-half, 1 egg, 1/2 tsp vanilla, a handful of chocolate chips or a big spoonful of nutella, and 1 T of water and mix.  Microwave for 80 seconds and eat the WHOLE DAMNED THING BY YOURSELF.

 

Red wine is starting to give me headaches the morning after I drink it.  I still buy it by the box (so classy), but I’ve cut my consumption like crazy.  I feel better, and I’ve slimmed down, but sometimes a girl needs a little something to pair with those milk-chocolate-salted-caramels she buys at Costco (God help me).  Here are other drinks that go with exhaustion, laundry, and chocolate at the end of the day:

 

• Scotch
• Spiced Rum over ice
• Rum in hot tea
• White Russian
• Tequila – sip to savor, shoot it if your day’s been tough

Brandy, nicely warmed

• Port, in one of those nice crystal port glasses you got as a wedding gift but never use

 

Need a midday boost?  I like to put a couple of scoops of chocolate ice cream in a pint glass and then pour the rest of the morning’s cold coffee over the top.  I let it sit for a minute, then I stir it around to make a nice, caffeinated coffee shake.  Pairs well with the shattered dreams of all you thought you’d accomplish today but didn’t and counting down the rest of the busy hours until you can make that mug cake and a drink.

 

National Chocolate Day.  National Chocolate Life more like it.

Here, I’ll Make You A Salad

I’ve been eating LOTS of veggies lately.  Our Baby Boot Camp MOLO Fitness Challenge Team (good grief, sometimes I can’t even believe that I do stuff like this) read Eat to Live this year and so I’ve been shooting for the “one pound of raw veggies, one pound of cooked veggies EVERY DAMN DAY” thing for a couple of weeks now.  It feels good.  It feels real good.  It does seem like a lot of veggies, but I’ve also cut waaaaay back on how much meat and other animal products I eat, so the veggies take up the space.

 

“Is she out of her mind?” you might be wondering.  Amelia, the girl who once had a license plate holder that declared “Meat is Yummy”?  (I also had a fascination with mullets and gaudy footwear… perhaps it is better NOT to recall my adolescent quirks.)  Well, meat is yummy, but as my father-in-law is fond of saying, I plan to live forever or die trying.  Decreasing animal products in my diet will decrease the potential for cancer and other diseases, so let’s eat salad!

 

My go-to salad is the Sweet Kale Salad from Costco.  It’s in the refrigerated vegetable section, and it’s delicious.  Tony and I eat a bag each week, and they’re Costco-sized bags, too.  So, so good.  In fact, I have not found any other way that I like kale or Brussels sprouts.

 

But this salad is not that salad.  This salad that I am going to make for you today is a coleslaw.  Not just any coleslaw, but the best coleslaw you have ever had.  And here, I’ll say the magic words: no mayonnaise.  Mmm!

 

The way this recipe came to me is somewhat weird.  A friend’s grandmother sidled up to my mom at some community event when I was in high school with the recipe written on a note card and said, “Here, Jane.  You need this.”  Mysterious and strange?  Those are the best kind of friends.  I’m going to make it my goal to do the same for someone someday.  Or maybe I’ll go to a party and “make it rain” recipe cards for a bigger impact.

 

 

Beautiful, n’est-ce pas?  Here’s how you make this delectable salad treat:

 

First, the dressing.  Get out a medium saucepan and place it on the stovetop on medium heat.  Whisk together 1/2 cup olive oil, 1/2 cup vinegar (white or apple cider work well), 1/2 cup white sugar, and 2 tablespoons of Dijon mustard.  Bring to a boil, then remove from heat and let cool.

 

Next, the salad.  Mix together two medium cabbages, one red, one green, all chopped up, a biggish drained jar of sliced Manzanilla olives (the green kind with pimiento), and some other sliced vegetables (I like sliced bell peppers and sliced carrots, but I think even cucumber and zucchini would work well.  If you’re real savvy, you might be able to slip some finely chopped kale or Brussels sprouts in there, but that’s for experienced salad people or people who like kale.  I’m sticking with cabbage) in a BIG bowl.  Drench the salad with the cooled dressing, toss, and let it sit for a bit (20 minutes or so) before serving.  Oh!  The flavor explosion! 

 

This salad will probably impress your friends.  Someday, you can slip them the recipe like you’re some kid of spy.  The CIA of cooking, that’s our organization.

Miscellany

1.  I just attempted to summarize the major characters and plot points of seasons 1-3 of Downton Abbey for my coworkers in preparation for a trivia night at a local bar.  Not an easy feat, but then somebody said, “This sort of sounds like Game of Thrones, but early 20th-century England.”  Yes.

 

2.  I never realize how much my kids are growing until I pull out seasonal wear and it doesn’t fit.  Charles started swim lessons last week and his trunks from this summer don’t fit at all.  Where am I going to find a new swimsuit in January? 

 

We do swim lessons for Charles every January through May.  We could do them year-round, but Charles seems to plateau after a few months and then benefit from the time off.  He starts January lessons with renewed enthusiasm and attention, and we see improvement right away.  So if your kids don’t seem to be getting anywhere with a lesson of some sort, consider taking some time off every year.  I don’t know if this would work so well with piano lessons, but maybe.

 

3.  I have been cooking the past few days.  Well, sort of.  I have been utilizing my crock-pot the past few days, which is almost like cooking, but I can do the prep in the morning when I don’t feel like barfing.  My go-to recipes are almost all from A Year of Slow Cooking.  Here is the cream cheese chicken, here the salsa chicken black bean soup, here the taco soup.

 

4.  I just finished the book What Alice Forgot and I liked it.  I didn’t think I would.  In fact, about ten pages into it, I though, oh shit, what am I getting myself into?  Was it going to be all introspective drama and musings on marital relationships and how they evolve over ten years?  Was it going to be gut-wrenchingly sad?  Was there going to be little plot and far too much character development?  I was pleasantly surprised and glad that I kept reading.  There was plot, there was action, and the story was told in such a way that I wanted to know what happened next as well as what happened “back then.”  There were enough twists to keep it interesting, is what I’m saying, and if you think you’d like a story about a woman who bumps her head (hard) and wakes up to find that she’s lost the last ten years of memories, including the birth of three children, the dissolution of her marriage, and significant relationship changes with her sister and mother, as well as a bunch of really batty and weird minor characters to liven things up, well, this book is for you.

 

5.  At the risk of repeating myself: I AM SO SICK.  And I’m sick of being sick.  And all I have to do to recognize that this is EXACTLY how I felt last time is read this really depressing post from when I was pregnant with Jamie.  Oh, look!  It was written EXACTLY three years ago today.  If ever I needed evidence that life doesn’t really change, there it is, I guess.

 

But it does change, because here is a post from when I was 14 weeks pregnant with Jamie (I am 14 weeks pregnant right now), wearing the same shirt I am wearing today (though I can tell you that the jeans in that old photo were NOT maternity and today’s most definitely are), and I am so much bigger now:

 

 

 

6.  Charles visited the neighbors yesterday after work/preschool, so I Jamie and I baked cookies.  I let him do all the mixing so I wouldn’t gag over the open bowl.  He greatly enjoyed licking the spatula when we were done, and I only slightly resented him for being able to savor uncooked cookie dough while I cannot.

 

 

And then, he washed the dishes!  If you do not do this activity with your toddlers, I highly recommend it.  Jamie was occupied for almost 45 minutes, happily splashing in the suds, and the dishes mostly got clean (I had to do a bit more scrubbing and rinsing).

 

 

Tell me he’s not the most adorable child on the planet.  You can’t.  Because he is.

Pregnancy Woes; Queen of Bribery; Quinoa Salad

It’s been a touch-and-go week for me; after dry-heaving after my exercise class last Monday night, having a couple of OK days and then a bad night Friday, I went out to dinner with my family on Saturday and ate my weight in red curry at a local Thai restaurant.  I love red curry, but that was the Best Red Curry Ever, probably because of the pregnancy and it being the first meal I have actually wanted to eat in a long time.  Last night was a bit rough, and this morning I was feeling pretty icky, but my stomach has settled a bit now.  So, maybe I’m pulling out of this?

 

But if it’s not one thing, it’s another, right?  And more often than not, the trials seem to accumulate.  Both Charles and Jamie are fighting head colds right now, a fact that finds Jamie in our bed at night even more often than usual (which was a lot), only now he’s coughing.  By 4 am, my sinuses started to hurt.  Yippee!  I can take a whole lot of NOTHING for head colds while pregnant.  So we’re not sleeping much, is what I’m saying.  On top of which, I am dreading a preschool battle with Charles every morning for the next six months.  He’s bored, I get that.  The preschool where my kids go (all-day care, really) is fantastic, and run by some amazing people who have listened to my woes about Charles and stimulation and added all sorts of new activities (a creation station where kids can be engineers with trash and recyclables a la Rosie Revere, Engineer!) to keep him and the other kids engaged, but his whining about school is a hard habit to break (so is his nail-biting, but that’s a different issue).

 

I have resorted to the tried-and-true method of bribery.  Each morning that Charles gets dressed and brushes his teeth in a timely manner and doesn’t throw a fit when I drop him at school earns him a sticker.  When he gets ten stickers, he gets to go to Chuck E. Cheese.  I loathe Chuck E. Cheese, so Tony will take him.  In the four days since instituting the plan, he has earned two stickers, so we’re getting there.  The new activities at school will help, I’m sure.  When he gets his reward, hopefully he will be happy to get dressed quickly and go to school every day, but if I have to keep bribing him, I will.  It works and hey, I get paid for going to work.  It’s sort of the same.

 

I am truly hoping that kindergarten next year will be so engrossing and exciting for him that we will never deal with this issue again. 

 

And now, as I sit at my desk eating the best quinoa salad ever, I feel I must share the recipe:

Cooked quinoa (I made a lot, but I like to eat this for several days in a row)

Feta

Craisins

Whole almonds

Mint (fresh is best, but my mint is wintering right now)

Olive oil & balsamic vinegar (I used this delicious white balsamic my mom gave me for Christmas)

Spinach

 

I mix the quinoa and everything but the spinach together, then I dump a goodly scoop on top of a bed of spinach.  I drizzle extra olive oil and vinegar over the whole thing.  Yum!  I’ll say this for pregnancy: when I’m feeling good, food tastes amazing.

Candy Cane Fudge

Note: Did you see my interview over at Kate Scott Writes?  Kate is a good friend from college and an amazing writer.  In fact, her first published novel, a YA read called Counting to D comes out in February (here’s a review)!  I can’t wait to read it.  In the meantime, check out my interview!

 

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For the past four years, I have hosted a cookie exchange party.  A couple of years ago, I somehow coerced two good friends into co-hosting, and I’ll admit that they did most of the work this year.  Hors d’oeuvres, wine, hot cocoa, and more cookies than you can imagine… yeah, it was a great time.

 

 

Every year, I have made Candy Cane Fudge.  Every year, I consider making something else, but I’m always asked to make Candy Cane Fudge again.  And then I’m asked for the recipe because this is a favorite treat among husbands and sons.  Which is not to say that it doesn’t appeal to women, but that I have found it to be particularly popular with men.  Why?  I couldn’t say.  Maybe because it’s not chocolate.  Maybe because it’s not overwhelmingly minty.  Whatever the reason, it’s a festive dessert and so easy to make.  Here we go!

Step one: Assemble all four ingredients.

 

 

Yep.  Four.  Two packages of Nestle Vanilla Chips, one can of sweetened condensed milk, one or two (depending on how much you like peppermint) packages of candy canes, and green food coloring.

 

Step two: Unwrap and beat the crap out of those candy canes.

 

 

This is the most time-consuming and difficult part.  After a while, the candy cane wrappers start to cling to everything.  Your fingers get sticky.  There is candy cane dust everywhere.  But then!  Then you get to put the candy canes into a ziplock bag, grab your meat mallet, and crush them.  Take out all your holiday frustrations on those candy canes!  The smaller the pieces, the better.

 

I should be less excited about this part.

 

Step three: Melt vanilla chips and sweetened condensed milk in a saucepan.

 

 

Melt the chips and milk over medium heat while stirring until everything is smooth.  It doesn’t have to get hot or anything.

 

*I made a double batch, so yours will not look like quite so much fudge.

 

Step four: Remove from heat and stir in green food coloring until you get a nice, minty green color.

 

 

Step five: Add the crushed candy canes and stir.

 

 

Step six: Pour the gooey mixture into a pan lined with greased foil.

 

 

Let it set up, then cut it into pieces and enjoy!

        

Candy Cane Fudge

 

Line 9 x 13” pan with foil and then grease the foil (I use spray PAM).

 

2 Bags Nestle Vanilla Chips

1 Can sweetened condensed milk

1 Box peppermint candy canes

Green food coloring

 

Unwrap and crush the candy canes.  In a medium saucepan over medium heat, melt the vanilla chips with the sweetened condensed milk, stirring until smooth.  Remove from heat and add food coloring as desired.  Stir in crushed candy canes.  Pour mixture into pan and let cool before cutting.

Pitfalls of a Farm Box

So this summer, I joined a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm box delivery program.  I chose this one because of the variety of farms that contributed to it.  I also chose to spend $22 per week (paid monthly) for what they call the “Farmer’s Choice” box rather than $31 per week to choose what went into the box myself.

 

Overall, the experience has been good.  I have a ton of leeks cleaned and sliced in my freezer because I didn’t want to make soup in the height of summer, we have eaten loads of fresh salads and enjoyed fruit all summer long.  Easily worth the $22 each week.

 

But.  BUT.  It seems like there is always something that I wish we didn’t get.  For several weeks in a row, we got a bag of small, spicy peppers.  Now, I LOVE spicy things, but the rest of my family doesn’t.  AND, none of the peppers were identified, they just came in a bag all mixed up together.  I can pick out a jalapeño, but those little, red, knobby ones?  Or the long, thin, green ones?  I seeded an unknown pepper and the aerosolization of whatever miniscule amount of pepper juice escaped during the scraping of the seeds made my eyes water and my throat close up.  No WAY was I putting that in my mouth.  I have given away three bags of peppers this summer.  I tossed the fava beans in the compost without a second look (have you ever tried to deal with those high-maintenance legumes?  NOT WORTH IT.).  And today I am trying desperately to find good recipes for cabbage.  Because for the third week in a row, I am getting cabbage in my box.

 

I don’t dislike cabbage.  However, I rarely buy it.  Maybe once a year to make coleslaw or something.  I really dislike cabbage soup.  So what’s a girl to do?  Live on Pinterest until something made with cabbage looks good.  I can guarantee that my children won’t eat any of the “cabbage roll casseroles” I see out there, though.

 

So, in summary, I really like the farm box.  But next year, I will pay the extra money to choose my own items each week.  It will be so worth it.

Crunchy No-Bake Chocolate Cookies, Heavy on the Parentheticals

I’m kind of an idiot in the kitchen.  Oh, it almost always ends up okay, but I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have started making a dish, only to find out that I am short an ingredient or two.

 

A good cook would assemble her ingredients before starting to break eggs.

 

A better cook might take inventory the night before so she could plan her shopping trip.

 

I don’t usually plan too far ahead for dinner, but often it’s far enough ahead to make that shopping list and take care of things.  Dessert is another matter.  I don’t make fancy desserts all that often; chocolate is chocolate is chocolate, and no amount of dressing it up will be better than just a standard brownie or cake or chocolate chip cookie (unless it’s for a birthday, then I might go crazy and create something truly amazing while using every pan in my kitchen).  So my pea-brain apparently thinks I have staples for desserts always on hand because the desserts are always staples.  Follow?

 

I’ve been thinking about no-bake chocolate cookies for a couple of weeks now.  I don’t know why; I don’t even really like them.  The texture has always bothered me.  But I didn’t want regular chocolate-chip cookies (I made those two weeks ago) and I didn’t want brownies (I made these beet brownies last week) (yes, I know.  Beet brownies.  They were good, but a little too self-righteous in their hidden healthy nature.)  (Though Charles loved them, and I can’t get him to eat beets any other way, so I shan’t complain).  I wanted no-bake chocolate cookies for my chocolate fix.  And I convinced myself that the health benefits of oatmeal and peanut butter in them totally cancelled out the negative effects of the sugar and butter (rationalizing desserts is a skill I have perfected).

 

I got all the chocolate/sugar/butter/milk goo simmering on the stove, got my cup of peanut butter ready, and reached for the oatmeal.  I only had a cup left.  The recipe called for three.  Hmmm.  Typical, Amelia.

 

I rooted around in the cupboard to see what I could use to substitute because it was too late now.  Rice Krispies?  No, that would be weird.  Cheerios?  Nah.  Bread crumbs.  *Shudder*  Bad idea.  Aha!  I know!  Grape Nuts (or rather, the generic alternative, Nutty Nuggets, because Post Grape Nuts contain soy and I am anti-unfermented soy)!  Two cups of Nutty Nuggets later and I had something resembling no-bake cookies.  A bit gooier than normal no-bake cookies because I used natural peanut butter (the cookbooks will tell you that regular ol’ Jif with all the partially-hydrogenated oils is best, but I save the bad stuff for the cookies with no redeeming nutritional value, like peanut butter cookies), but still fine.  I let them cool because I have moderate self restraint.  And then I dived in.

 

Oh, delicious.  I think I just inadvertently solved the biggest problem with no-bake chocolate cookies: texture.  The Nutty Nuggets make the cookies crunchy instead of flaccid.  They are so good.  So good that it is 12:15 (lunch break!) and I realized that the only thing I’ve had to eat today: four no-bake cookies and lot of coffee.  My hands are a bit jittery, so I should probably eat real food now.

 

Crunchy No-Bake Chocolate Cookies

 

2 cups sugar

3 Tablespoons cocoa powder

1/2 cup butter

1/2 cup milk

1 cup peanut butter

1 cup rolled oats

2 cups Grape Nuts (or Nutty Nuggets, whatever)

 

Mix sugar, cocoa powder, and milk in large saucepan.  Add butter and heat over medium-high heat until mixture boils.  Turn off heat and mix in peanut butter.  Add oats and Grape Nuts.  Drop by spoonfuls onto waxed paper.  Let cool and enjoy!  These freeze really well!

Those Chocolate Cookies

I don’t have a name for these.  I’ve been chasing the recipe for a long time, and have seen similar versions called Mudslides or Rocky Roads (only if you add almonds and marshmallows, which I don’t) or Chocolate Fudge Cookies.  Maybe you can help me think of a name for them.

 

 

They are gluten free, if that is a consideration for you.

 

 

The bigger consideration: they are delicious.  Amazing.  Simply the best chocolate cookies I have ever made, ever. 

 

These little bites of happy start like this: whisk 3 cups of powdered sugar with 2/3 cups of cocoa powder and 1/4 teaspoon of salt. 

 

 

In another bowl, mix together 3 egg whites and 1 tablespoon of vanilla extract.  Then, drop the wet stuff into the dry stuff and prepare to use your muscles, because it takes a while to incorporate the egg mixture into the sugar mixture.

 

 

You can imagine, like I did, that the calories burned in mixing cancel out a significant amount of the calories you will consume when these beauties come out of the oven.  You’re dreaming, but it’s still nice.

 

Wave to your helper as you open a bag of chocolate chips, and maybe give him a few as he drives by on his fire truck.  He’s been pretending you are ice cream all morning, driving by and taking scoops out of your legs with an ice cream scoop he liberated from a kitchen drawer.

 

 

 

Add two cups of chocolate chips (milk or semi-sweet, your choice… I prefer half-and-half, but that requires more chocolate chip buying) and work those muscles again.

 

 

When you have a big, chocolatey blob that sort of reminds you of frosting that got too thick, you’re ready.  Preheat your oven to 350-degrees and line your baking sheets with parchment paper (without it, your cookies will stick and ruin your day).  Drop the dough in rounded blobs onto the sheet and then put the whole sheet in the refrigerator for a few minutes.  This will keep the cookies from spreading too much.

 

 

 

After about five minutes of fridge time, pop them into the oven for 12-14 minutes.  The tops of the cookies will get kind of crinkly and should lose most of their shine.  They will smell so good.

 

 

 

My God, they’re beautiful.  I took these to two new moms this week and one gluten-free family.  They disappeared.

 

My helper definitely approved.

 

   

 

So there you go: The Best Chocolate Cookies I Have Ever Had, Ever.  Go forth and bake!

 

Preheat oven to 350-degrees and line baking sheets with parchment paper.

 

3 Cups powdered sugar

2/3 Cups cocoa powder

1/4 teaspoon salt

3 egg whites

1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

2 Cups chocolate chips

 

Mix the dry ingredients in a large bowl; set aside.  Mix wet ingredients and then incorporate into dry ingredients.  Add chocolate chips and mix.  Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto parchment-lined cookie sheets.  Refrigerate for five minutes.  Bake for 12-14 until tops of cookies are crackly and matte.

 

They go equally well with a glass of milk or wine.

Ravioli-Sausage Bake

I wasn’t able to be home for dinner last night, which bums me out to no end, but I did experience a win in the meal-making department.  As Tony said, “I don’t know who these children who eat all their dinner and ask for more are, but if I see our old kids coming back, I’m running the other way.”  So, apparently, the dinner I had prepped for the boys was a hit.

 

It is so easy that I must share it.  It is not particularly delicious, but the flavors are bland enough for kids’ palettes and did I mention?  It is SO EASY.  Here’s what you do:

 

Get yourself a package of frozen ravioli.  I bought the Fred Meyer cheese ravioli, but you could get the fancy, organic stuff they sell at Costco if you want.  My kids won’t eat that.

 

Put the whole package in a 9 x 13 inch pan. 

 

Add some sliced, precooked Italian sausage of your choice.  Grocery Outlet usually has some great deals on chicken sausage of various flavor combinations.

 

Cover it with a jar of marinara sauce (I got mine at Costco, just the generic Kirkland brand) and mix it around a bit so the ravioli are coated.

 

Add some shredded mozzarella on top and bake at 375 degrees for a half hour or so. 

 

I also left the boys some cooked corn on-the-cob.  Word on the street is that they gobbled up every bit and asked for more.

 

They left me with some for a late dinner and lunch today, though:

 

 

My guilt over feeding my boys something that I didn’t lovingly prepare every bit of with my own two hands was assuaged by the fact that they ate a full meal without complaint.  They sleep so much better when they eat well.

The Most Important Part of This Is the Frosting Recipe.

It’s been a tough couple of weeks and I don’t like to complain, but… well, actually, I do.  It’s cathartic.  Tony has been studying late, we’ve had house projects (new roof!) exploded all over the yard and garage (painting fascia in the garage, which I completed just in time for it to rain – so now I can park inside again, but we can’t put it up and I can’t paint what’s already on the house and the unpainted and ugliness and undone-ness of it all causes me stress), and the kids went plum nuts recently. 

 

I think they’re both going through a growth spurt.

 

2T!  Already!

 

This big kid can climb out of his crib totally unassisted now.  His newfound ability has coincided with him deciding that sleep is for fools, especially if one can get out of one’s crib all by oneself.  The result: mom doesn’t get anything done for an hour after bedtime because mom is continually walking Jamie back to bed and insisting on sleep to varying degrees of success.   I finally won last night when I ran though a litany of animals, stating “the cows are asleep, the dogs are asleep, the chickens are asleep…” etc, etc, until I ran out of animals and I finally said, “And Jamie is going to sleep!”  And he looked at me and said, “Goat go night-night?”  Yes, Jamie.  Goat go night-night.  You go night-night, too, for the millionth time.

 

And then he climbs out of his bed at 6 am and comes to wake me up.  So add tired to the list of stressors.

 

Oh, and he’s also getting his two-year molars.  Sheesh.

 

 

This big kid earned a Transformer toy by being responsible and “listening to his body” and not having any accidents for twenty whole days.  Thank God.  On the flip side, Charles is also growing, and it seems to be his style to throw a terrible tantrum every day when he is in the middle of a growth spurt.  The other day he tore his bed apart, because, when he’s angry, Destruction is his middle name (free naming advice: that would be a kick-ass middle name).  When he’s finally asleep every night, I stare at his little boy body that has chubbed up and made him look younger recently, I smell his hair, and marvel at how he can look like such an innocent angel and yet scream so loudly when he’s mad.

 

There’s stress at work, too, with big projects to bring home and mull over and research every night.  It’s no wonder I’ve been eating my feelings.  It’s a terrible cycle that when I can’t exercise (because Tony’s not home and I can’t just leave the kids alone and go for a run), I eat more.  The other night I made chocolate chip cookie dough frosting (yeeeessss, frosting) and poured myself a glass of wine and then proceeded to stuff my face and take big gulps in between walking Jamie back to bed.

 

 

3/4 C brown sugar, a pinch of salt, 1/2 C softened butter, 1/2 teaspoon vanilla, some chocolate chips, stir until you can fool yourself that you have burned enough calories mixing that you are justified in eating it with a spoon. 

 

***

 

Something wonderful happened yesterday, and that’s that my new jewelry box showed up!  I bought this one on Amazon and I love it.  I finally decided that I was never going to find an all-wood, wall-mount jewelry box that I loved and so I stopped trying.  My inner awkward teenager told me to buy something colorful, so I did.  I always listen to my inner awkward teenager.

 

See my Caboodle?  My inner awkward teenager still loves it.

 

     

Oh, it could be bigger.  I have inherited a ton of gaudy, big costume jewelry from my grandmother and not all of it fits.  But now I can find all my good jewelry and I have some space to add more.  I found pieces in the bottom of my little cedar chests that I had completely forgotten about.  No more!  Jewelry organization is mine!

Tomato Pie

I am blessed with an abundance of tomatoes this year, both on my tomato plant and from our farm box (a surprise every week!).  I don’t can (yet), so I’ve been coming up with new and interesting ways to use all my produce every week.  This recipe is not new, nor is it really one of mine.  My French mom made this just about every other week when I was living in Nantes, and I’ve always adored it.  One pie is almost not enough for my family, now that the boys are getting bigger.  It’s vegetarian, so I usually serve it with a side of Italian meatballs, which the boys eat plain and on which I drizzle this stuff.  Easy peasy!

 

Tomato Pie

 

First, whip up your favorite pie crust or use one of the uncooked pie crusts you can buy at the grocery store, and bake it.  I usually do mine at 450-degrees for 15 minutes, covered in foil and topped with pie weights.

 

Next, slice up and seed several ripe tomatoes and one of those one-pound mozzarella cheese balls (I prefer Frigo).  This recipe doesn’t work as well when you use fresh mozzarella because of all the water, so just go for the regular kind.  Also, step into your backyard and marvel at how well your basil plant is growing outside (and ignore the little voice in your head that says it will surely die this winter), and pick yourself some basil leaves.  The amount of tomatoes and basil you use depends more on how large your pie pan is than anything else.

 

Layer cheese over the pie crust, then tomatoes, then basil.  Drizzle with some olive oil (the regular kind, not the spicy kind linked above) and shake a bit of salt and pepper over the pie, if you like that sort of thing.

 

 

Next, top with more cheese (a phrase that instantly makes any recipe a good recipe in my book).  Pop the whole thing in the oven and bake at 375-degrees for 20 minutes or until the cheese is gooey.

 

 

Serve it in slices like a pie.  Drizzle your spicy olive oil on top (if you want, I won’t judge your wussy palette if you don’t like spicy things) and pair with meatballs and a nice Cabernet.

 

 

This would also be great as a side dish to, say, Chicken Parmesan or any other Italian-inspired main dish.

 

Enjoy!

Birthday Celebrations at School in the Modern Age

There’s a girl in Jamie’s class who is allergic to nuts.  I have friends with kids who are gluten intolerant.  Others who can’t eat ice cream.

 

Remember when everyone just brought cupcakes to school and everything was good?  No more.

 

I’m here to tell you, though, that there is another way.  Another way that is, perhaps, even more exciting for young kids due to the many, many possibilities.  Another way that is gluten- and nut-free.

 

Rice Krispies Treats.  You can use fruity pebbles for some color, or shape them into a dragon, or frost them with a “Happy Birthday!” message, or just cover them in sprinkles and slice into servings as I did for Jamie’s birthday party at school.  Kids love ‘em, adults love ‘em.  No one has an allergic reaction and gets rushed to the ER.  They’re not even messy.  You’re welcome.

 

This two-year-old likes sprinkles best.

 

For the party we hosted at our house, I made messier desserts: a cream puff cake and a banana split cake.  They were both so delicious, I could cry.  I modified the cream puff cake recipe by using real whipped cream instead of Cool Whip and hot fudge sauce instead of Hershey’s syrup.  The banana split cake?  Well, I post the recipe sometime.  I’ve been waiting years to make it and it was every bit as good as I had hoped.

 

****

As of tonight, I’m on vacation, bitches!  See you next week!

Food Files

You know what?  If we had had Jamie first, I would have thought that I was world’s most amazing parent.

 

I maybe have said that before: he’s just so damn easy compared to Charles.  Especially with the F*#&ing Fours as comparison (oh, Jamie will probably get there).  Fortunately for us, Charles is old enough that I can “make” him eat his veggies before he gets up from the table, something you can in no way do with a 20-month-old.  A 20-month-old can totally control what he does or does not put in his mouth, and Charles at 20 months came down pretty hard on the “no vegetables” side of life.  I snuck them in wherever I could, but we relied pretty heavily on a multivitamin for a time (thankfully, he always ate fruit).

 

We have a really great family doctor, by the way.  He told me that his own daughter refused to eat much more than pasta, white bread, and rice when she was little and that it was no big deal.  “Just shove a multivitamin down him once in awhile” and he’ll be okay, the doc said.  And he was right.  While at 20 months Charles ate mostly macaroni and cheese and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, by age two he was eating a much wider variety of foods, including vegetables.

 

Jamie, much to our surprise, loves green vegetables.  He’ll eat the tops right off of the entire bowl of steamed broccoli.  What, you thought you were going to get some?  No, friend, that’s all for Jamie.

 

 

And the other night, we had asparagus with dinner.  I had to negotiate with Charles to try a bite (“no, you may not leave the table until we’re all finished and you have a bite of asparagus.”) but Jamie reached for a spear and kept reaching.  He must have had ten spears.  And later, his diaper smelled horrible.

 

 

Charles, of course, chowed down on pasta, something which Jamie doesn’t much enjoy.

 

Even at age four, Charles is constantly in motion; all our photos are blurry.

 

Later, we had frozen yogurt. Jamie gets his own bowl because I don’t like to share with him (he eats ALL of it!).

 

 

Like I said, if we had had Jamie first, I would have thought I was an awesome parent.  The kid eats his vegetables, goes to bed without a fight, and can play by himself for more than 30 seconds at a time.  And with the benefit of experience, I know that none of this is my doing.  He is just a good kid and I am just really, really lucky.

 

******

 

Did you maybe want to know how that bread recipe in my new Dutch oven turned out?  It was INCREDIBLE.  I will be making this again, probably every weekend.

 

What a beauty.

Beef Stroganoff Sounds a Little Like Beef Strokin’ Off.

This post is for my friend Julia, who is about the most gorgeous woman I have ever known.  She’s 7 months pregnant, and we should all be so lucky to look like she does while gestating.  I met Julia in college – we were in the same sorority – and she is in many of my stories from my senior year (her sophomore year) in college, but I’ll just give you a taste of how great she is with the tamest of these stories. 

 

Our sorority (and all the others, as well as several groups of “independent” ladies [not that we were dependent per se, just affiliated and had better parties]) had a powder-puff football team.  Powder-puff, of course, being code for “try to kill each other, ladies.”  Football injuries in the intramural leagues got so bad my senior year that, except in dire cases of hospitalization, they could no longer be used as an excuse for missing homework or class (and let me tell you, trying to finish homework when you are laid up with a terrible football injury in a no-pads, full-contact league was no joke).  The faculty hated powder-puff football.

 

Julia’s the one with her arm hooked around my neck.

 

So one game (probably my last), we were just playing ridiculously.  Pascale twisted her ankle, someone else got cut because I remember blood on the field, and then I injured my thumb.  Or maybe Pascale faked her twisted ankle because she could see I was in pain.  It was just my thumb, though!  No big deal, right?  I could totally still tackle, I mean, pull flags.  Except that it must’ve been a big deal, because the game was finally called due to injury and Julia bundled me into her little, yellow Beetle and took me to the Walla Walla ER.  Broken thumb.  Julia stayed with me the whole time, essentially spending her entire Saturday afternoon in the hospital, and then drove me home with a prescription for painkillers.  I had a tough time taking notes in class that week, I can tell you, and my right thumb joint is still larger than my left.

 

Well, Miss Julia, you are a peach, and I’m sure you’ll enjoy this beef stroganoff recipe (no photos because it’s all been consumed).  Think of my broken thumb, all the times you did my makeup, and the Everclear you freely passed around in your room while you do.

 

Beef Stroganoff (Amazing)

 

Lots of butter

Egg noodles (I made the whole package because I like leftovers)

1/2 yellow onion, chopped up nice n small

Beef strips – get yourself some lean steak or even pre-cut stir-fry meat and slice it up really thin.  It sometimes helps to partially freeze the beef so that you can cut it even thinner

A whole bunch of mushrooms, sliced up small (I used, like, half of a Costco package of those giant white mushrooms)

2ish Tablespoons of flour

1 can beef broth

1 16-oz carton of full-fat sour cream

Fresh ground pepper

 

Boil those noodles!  Now, chop up the onion and mushrooms and sauté them in a bunch of butter.  I probably used 2-3 tablespoons at this stage.

 

When the mushrooms are nice and soft and brown, spoon them out of your pan and into a holding dish of some sort.  Add some more butter to your pan and then add the beef.  Brown the beef strips nicely on all sides but don’t cook them so long that they get tough.  Remove the beef from the pan.

 

Okay, you might be thinking, more butter? but yes, more butter.  Probably 2-3 tablespoons again.  Melt it up nicely in your pan and then add the flour.  Stir the flour into the butter and let it cook for a few minutes, then add your can of beef broth.  Keep stirring until it thickens up nicely, then add back your mushrooms, onions, and beef and then add the sour cream and mix it all together. 

 

Now comes the pepper.  No stroganoff is complete without lots and lots of fresh, ground pepper.  Mmmmmm.

 

Serve over cooked egg noodles and enjoy.

 

You might notice that there is no salt in this recipe.  I LOVE salt, but I prefer to add it at the table.  Your butter will likely have salt, and you just never know how sour that cream will be.  Julia, I know you can’t have wine right now, but a dark, full-bodied Merlot pairs so nicely with this.

 

Feed that baby some stroganoff tonight!

Spaghetti Pie

I made this Pioneer Woman dish for dinner last night and it was delicious.  It reminded me a lot of another dish I make, one that is a lot more complicated, but also a lot tastier, so when I have the time, it pays off.  May I share it with you?

 

It’s called Spaghetti Pie, and I first found the recipe in a retrospective of popular recipes from the 50s and 60s.  I have modified it a ton over the years.  Recently, I’ve seen several recipes for Spaghetti Pie make the rounds of Pinterest, but none of them look to be quite this good… largely because they are all meant to be quick, easy casseroles.  This is neither quick nor easy.  But it is spectacular.  And hearty.  And a crowd-pleaser.  And it travels well.  It even freezes well.

 

Here we go!

 

Set a pot of water to boil and get your spaghetti ready.  You don’t want too much spaghetti, maybe 8 ounces.

 

 

Chunk up an onion and a bell pepper and any other vegetables you’d like to fool your family into eating.  Add a clove or four of pressed garlic and sauté it all in some olive oil.  The onion and the garlic add great flavor, but the rest of them will just be added fiber and vitamins, in my opinion.

 

 

Add a pound of ground Italian sausage.  You could use ground beef or ground turkey, but it wouldn’t taste as good.  If you do use ground beef or ground turkey, make sure to add lots of Italian spices.  After my sausage was browned, I added some spinach (because I had it, and, you know, iron).

 

 

Add half of a Costco-sized jar of spaghetti sauce.  Umm, this is like, 2 cups or so?  I don’t think of cooking as an exact science, so the idea is to keep it from being too saucy.  Then, add a drained can of diced tomatoes.

 

Doesn’t that look lovely?  Smells good, too.

 

And now, the noodles.  Hopefully they’re cooked up all nice in your boiling water.  If not, get on it, the meat/sauce mixture will wait.

 

 

Add two beaten eggs to those hot noodles and mix them up real good.  Do you like my dinosaur spaghetti spoon?

 

Then, add some parmesan cheese to the spaghetti.  I like cheese, so I use a lot – about 4 ounces.  Spread this gooey mess into a 9 x 13-inch pan.

 

 

Next, take a whole carton of full-fat cottage cheese and spread it over the top of the noodles, like so:

 

 

Top this with the meat/sauce mixture:

 

 

Add cheese on top (I like to use parmesan and mozzarella and just simply smother the damned thing) and then stick the whole heavy pan in your oven at 375-degrees until heated through (about half an hour). 

 

 

Make sure to invite your brother over for dinner because he loves this meal.

 

 

Spaghetti Pie:

8 ounces spaghetti noodles

2 eggs, well beaten

4 ounces shredded parmesan (or more, if you love cheese)

1 carton cottage cheese (16 ounces?  I think?)

1 onion

some garlic (if you like garlic, use more!)

other vegetables (things that would be great here: carrots, olives, mushrooms, bell peppers, kidney beans, spinach – you get the picture.  Veggies with lots of water, like zucchini, might not work so well)

Olive oil – a tablespoon or two

1 lb ground Italian sausage

2 cups pre-made spaghetti sauce

1 can diced tomatoes, drained

mozzarella and parmesan cheese

 

Cook noodles according to package directions.  In a big saucepan (because if I don’t use a big one, I slop shit everywhere), cook the onion, garlic, and other vegetables in olive oil.  Add the Italian sausage and brown.  Add spaghetti sauce and drained tomatoes. 

 

Add eggs and parmesan to cooked, drained noodles and mix well.  Spread in bottom of 9 x 13-inch pan.  Spread cottage cheese on top.  Spread meat/sauce mixture over that.  Spread mozzarella/parmesan cheese over that. 

 

Bake at 375-degrees for 30 minutes or until heated through. 

 

Serve with a big ol’ glass of wine.