Fashion Idiocy

Every day, I walk Charles to school.  I strap Freddie into the Ergo, I strap Jamie into the stroller, and I make Charles walk because (according to him) I am mean.  I’ve learned that the thing to do is to get him talking about something that is interesting to him right when we start walking to stave off the whining and complaints about his legs hurting.

 

School is a whole half-mile away, so obviously walking there every morning and walking home every afternoon is sheer TORTURE.

 

Since the beginning of the school year, I have logged 200 miles of walking, give or take.  One mile in the morning, one in the afternoon.  Five days a week. 

 

Regardless of my outfit for the day, I always wear my sneakers.  My boots, heels, and ballet flats just don’t hold up to two miles pushing a stroller and wearing a baby, uphill both ways (no, really, we go both up and down a hill, so technically there is an uphill in both directions).  I get dressed in the morning for work in my dresses, skirts, skinny jeans, or slacks and then pull on warm socks and my sneakers and hit the road.  Obviously, I change before I leave for work.

 

There are a few ladies who walk every lunch hour near my office and they always wear sneakers with their power suits.  When you’re walking for fitness (or to get to school on time), you need appropriate footwear.  I never, in all the times I saw them walking, smirked or giggled or judged their footwear.  OBVIOUSLY, they didn’t choose sneakers as the perfect complement to their nice skirts.

 

 

I have sacrificed footwear fashion to walk with my boys.  Even yesterday, I wore skinny jeans with socks pulled up and my sneakers on.  When I got home, I put on my tall boots.

 

See?  At work I look (sort of) normal. 

 

I didn’t ever think about looking like a fashion idiot until a friend pointed out that I was one on FaceBook.  What’s with the socks?  Nothing before.  I figured most people would understand that I probably don’t dress like that except to walk my kid to school.  But now?  What’s with the socks is my rapidly fraying sense of self-esteem.  A fashion idiot, passed by hundreds of people every day, all of whom are noting how ridiculous I look in my skinny jeans, long socks, and sneakers.  Or my skirt and socks and sneakers.  It’s all I can think about now as I trudge up and down that stupid hill. 

First Look

Did I tell you that I had an ultrasound last week?  At almost 17 weeks, we couldn’t get a good look at the sex, but we did get a good look at the baby.

 

He or she looks a lot like his or her older brothers:

 

 

 

And would you just look at this adorable foot:

 

 

I can feel the baby move all the time now, which has been more than a bit distracting when I’m in a meeting at the office.  I dearly love this part of pregnancy – I’m not sick any more, except for a few lingering food aversions and gag reflexes (and the burping – oh, Lord, the burping!), and I am not so exhausted that my every non-nauseated thought is about when I can grab my next nap.  This is the magical time of pregnancy.  And I want to suck every bit of enjoyment from it because it is the last time.

 

I even bought myself some new wardrobe pieces.  Beyond the simple black skirts I will probably wear with everything, I also got this tunic on sale:

 

That’s the skinny mirror.  We all have one.

 

My mom recently gifted me her pearls, and that was my first opportunity to wear them.  I love pearls and have wanted a strand for a long time.

Boo!

It’s my favorite holiday… and yet, I don’t celebrate it nearly as much as I used to, or as much as I want to now.  Kids, man.  They change everything.

 

While they are adorable and enjoying Halloween in their own fantastic ways, Tony and I no longer attend several Halloween parties.  I don’t do as much decorating because we have STUFF ALL OVER anyway, and the cool decorations would just get trampled.  Costumes must be kid-friendly (Charles has begged me to be a princess for three years in a row… basically, since he could talk).  All Hallow’s Eve ends by 8 PM when small people must be in bed.

 

Someday, I will host a large, crazy Halloween party.  Someday when my kids are old enough to be embarrassed by their parents dressing up and having fun, so they hole up in their rooms with cookie dough, several friends, and a Ouija board to celebrate Halloween.  Until then, we will host, as we have for a couple of years now, a potluck dinner night of trick-or-treating.  I will break out my hot drink mixer (a very strange Christmas gift from Tony a few years back), give the kids the job of answering the door and handing out candy, and pour wine for other frazzled parents.  It might not be a wild and crazy party, but it is a nice tradition.

 

My complacency with Halloween has not gotten so far that I didn’t dress up (God forbid it ever does!), but I went for the least-scary costume I could imagine: a cat burglar.  Mostly I have dropped the “cat” part of the description because I have not yet successfully explained to Charles that it is called a cat burglar not because I am actually a cat, but rather because I move silently and am dressed in black and am sneaky. 

 

Do not underestimate the sneakiness.

 

The boys, well, I’ll get some good photos today and show you tomorrow.  Charles and Tony make a pretty great team as Curious George and The Man with the Yellow Hat.

 

Happy Halloween, everyone!  Here’s hoping that nobody notices that ALL of the mini Butterfingers in our candy mix are missing.

What I’m Wearing

I’m determined to forgo all clothing shopping for myself this fall/winter.  I have enough clothes.  Well, okay, I might have to grab a couple of things for my Halloween costume, but those will be sourced at Goodwill or Ross.  But not today, because I don’t shop on a Tuesday if I can help it.  Tuesdays are senior days, and I get it, if retailers offered me a day to get a 10% discount based solely on my age, I would take it.  But since there is no incentive for me to shop on a Tuesday, I’ll leave Fred Meyer, Ross, and all the other stores to the AARP crowd.

 

Bottom line: no more clothes.  Saving money is the main goal, but the side benefit is that it is fun to find new ways to pair up the pieces I already have in my closet.  Like this outfit, which I wore on Friday:

 

Photo courtesy of Charles

 

A basic black pencil skirt and a cowl-neck sweater I bought last year joined by a skinny black belt and my old patent-leather pumps.  This outfit accentuates my curves while at the same time drawing the eye up to my neck and away from my hips (which you probably can’t tell because my son is four feet tall and was standing below me on the hill in our front yard).  All good things.

 

Here is what I’m wearing today:

 

 

That’s right, a photo in the office bathroom.  Notice that there are no tiny fingerprints on the mirror.  It’s the little things.

 

I’ve had that skirt since junior high.  I’ve had the sweater and tank top underneath for a long time (though not that long), too.  I bought the tights last year and you can’t see them, but I’m wearing those trusty patent-leather pumps again.  I think I got them at Target a couple of years ago.  I’ll be sad when they fall apart.

 

Notice how I’m wearing jewelry!  The necklace was a Christmas gift from my dad last year and the bracelet was a Mother’s Day gift from Tony.  Progress!

 

My mom recently cleaned out her jewelry box and passed on a lot of great stuff to me.  It’s like getting my inheritance without my mom actually having to die, which is a pretty great deal.  One of the items was this necklace, which I adore:

 

 

I need to figure out how to pair it with some different shirts – I don’t wear gold a lot and the necklace is a little short, but I’m sure I can come up with something.

 

My skinny jeans bit the dust last spring (I washed them with a vitamin in the pocket, a vitamin that apparently had fish oil in it because the smell NEVER WASHED OUT), so I might have to splurge and find a pair to go under boots again.  The only problem with skinny jeans is that they look great as long as I’m wearing boots to balance them out.  But as soon as the boots come off?  HORROR.  It’s a love/hate relationship.

I Am Not A Fashion Blogger

Two cautions: read this post for the spirit in which it was intended, which is that I looked good these days, and I’m sort of widening my style choices to include more accessories; and my yard is a disaster, which is what happens when you have two boy-children and a dog who like to leave their toys everywhere.  And why shouldn’t they?  Summer is for playing in the yard.

 

Summer is also for skirts or dresses, if you’re me.  I do own some shorts, but my hips are wide and curvy, so shorts look, um, funny on me.  I always look either a bit like a hobo or a prostitute in shorts because they are either baggy and loose on the waist in order fit my hips or too tight and short and giving you far too much information about my lady parts.  I have culled my wardrobe of the latter, but held on to two pairs of the former because, well, summer.  It’s 85 degrees and sometimes I wear shorts regardless of how funny they look.

 

The other thing about summer is that it is so warm that I usually change after work into my shorts and tank tops or just a bathing suit (people come over and I’m in my bikini, letting my mom-body all hang out, like “what?  This is totally appropriate!”  It’s not.), so my photographer is either Charles or me.

 

See if you can guess which is which.

 

I wore this big scarf as a belt the other day, and while it is a touch too long, I felt like it dressed up a pretty simple outfit:

 

 

 

Jamie’s room is the location of the only full-length mirror in the house.  And his curtains are, you guessed it, green.  The dress, however, is white.  I only had one “bridal” remark during the day, but the rest of the feedback was positive.  Plus, cute shoes you can’t see here and turquoise jewelry!

 

 

The dress is from Dress Barn, home of things that look terrible on the hanger but great on a person.  The shoes are Payless.  The sandals in the top photos are also Payless.  I have no idea where I got the scarf, but the skirt is likely Fred Meyer and I think the tank top is Old Navy.  I am such a classy shopper, right?

Elbow to the Face

Tony described his basketball style as “football” this morning.  I’m thinking maybe he should reevaluate meshing the two sports.  After all, in basketball, he doesn’t wear a helmet.

 

Though maybe he should.  Apparently, a couple of months ago, one of the other players broke an ankle.  Sheesh.

 

So we’re waiting at home for the doctor to get in to his office so he can stitch or glue Tony back together, and I thought I would show you what I’m wearing today (because right now I have a photographer):

 

 

A $12 black sheath dress from Wal-Mart, a similarly cheap chunky necklace from Wal-Mart (I bought large jewelry!  Hooray me!), a button-down shirt from Express that I bought, oh, ten or twelve YEARS ago, and black slides purchased at Payless Shoes yesterday.

 

I’ve mentioned before that I love Payless Shoes, and I honestly get the most compliments on the least expensive shoes I own.  You don’t have to spend a lot of money to look great.  What are YOU wearing?

Wear What?

Would you like to see what I’m wearing?  Of course you would.  That way, you can tell me I look fabulous, and I can tell me I look fabulous, and then I’ll start to feel fabulous.  I generally find myself much prettier in photos about two weeks after they are taken because, you know, I have AGED SO MUCH in the ensuing two weeks.  I take pretty terrible self-portraits (please, can we not call them “selfies” anymore?  All that word makes me think of is masturbation), so you’ll have to deal with that, but maybe once a week or so we can discuss fashion and you can give me style suggestions.  I need ‘em.

 

So here is something I wore earlier this week, at Charles’s request.  He likes long dresses a lot.  I don’t know why.

 

 

That’s my mirror wall.  I really don’t have a good full-length mirror.  Okay, maybe I need Tony to take these photos, if I’m going to continue this blogging experiment.  Anyhow, the dress was on sale for $8 at Fred Meyer, and I probably had a 10%-off apparel coupon that I used, because there’s one in the paper every week.  Maxi dresses, you know?  They’re comfortable and sit right on that sweet dressy-yet-casual spot that can either mean “I didn’t give a fuck this morning” or “I wanted to look nice but I didn’t want to shave my legs.”  Either way is good for me.  The cropped sweater is from Maurice’s and I got it last summer, so I have no idea what it cost.  Knowing me, it was under $15.  The wine looks like it was probably the bottle of Merlot I made last for over a week, due to my previously-blogged attempt at cutting calories by not enjoying my usual post-children-in-bed glass after 8 pm.  And damn, my boobs look nice.

 

So here’s a thing about this outfit and many more I own: I haven’t figured out how to wear chunky jewelry.  This seems like the type of outfit that would benefit from a big ol’ necklace in salmon pink or orange or something, but I don’t have one and I nearly always feel like I wouldn’t be able to pull it off.  Thoughts?  Also, what shoes do you wear with a maxi dress?  I wore sandals, but I have giant feet and I felt weird about them all day.  My preference would be bare feet in a long dress, but that only works when I’m at home.  Also, shapewear?  Terrible stuff, but perhaps necessary under a jersey fabric dress.