Sad Thoughts

Charles and I were going to leave a couple hours ago and head east for the weekend. 

 

But then Snoqualmie Pass was closed for awhile and though it is now open again, traction tires are recommended (the Honda has 4-wheel-drive, but the tires aren’t great – we were going to wait until next winter to replace them, since this winter was so mild.  UNTIL NOW.), and the wind is blowing at dangerous strengths.  Stevens is open, but with chains recommended, which means that traffic is likely going at 35 mph or slower. 

 

And, I’m just not comfortable going over the pass with marginal, good-enough-for-summer tires when conditions are crappy and my whole world is sitting in the back seat.

 

So maybe we’ll go in a couple of weeks and leave Tony at home to recuperate from tax season for a whole weekend (next weekend’s out, I have a commitment).  But that would be sad, too, wouldn’t it?  The first weekend we have together in months and Charles and I leave?  However, that might eliminate some of the clashes that will inevitably happen if we stay home; after all, it will be the first time I will have “backup” over a weekend in a few months, and I will probably get frustrated when Tony takes care of some long-overdue home projects and I end up entertaining Charles alone.  Again.  For the 12th weekend in a row.  It’s not that I don’t want him to help with the projects I can’t do or haven’t had time to do or need a stronger pair of hands to do, it’s just that I don’t want him to spend all day doing them while I struggle to fold the laundry or do the dishes or make dinner with a demanding child pulling at my pant legs.

 

What’s really awful about this whole situation is how tired Tony is.  Our leaving was going to be his chance to sleep through the night, to sleep in, to work through dinner without feeling guilty or drawn towards home.  Now, no such luck. 

 

I suppose we could leave tomorrow morning, but then the weekend is so short, and the drive so long, it almost doesn’t make sense.  And Charles would be awake the whole ride, rather than the ideal timing of right before nap that I had planned for today.

 

Gah, and I just found out that Charles is too young to participate in the local egg hunt, so there will be no egg hunt photos this year!  AND, all the stuff that I was going to take to Sarah’s will linger even longer in my garage, meaning that it is in my way and she won’t get to enjoy any of it soon.

 

And while I’m complaining… I have been eating salads, fruits, veggies, and lean protein for a month and I haven’t lost any weight!  I work out whenever I can, I limit sugar, carbs, and fats to a severe degree, and I am still fat!  Destined to be fat forever!  Never to be slender again!  I am so frustrated, angry, and sad.