I went back to work this week, and it has consumed my energy to the point that when I come home in the afternoon (I work part-time – one of the great benefits of owning your own business, having a business partner who is stupendous, and employing a great team of people), I just sack out on the couch with Jamie.
Is it the fact that I am still up multiple times a night with him? Totally normal, that, but still hard. He is sleeping in his own room for the first 4 hours or so of the evening, but I don’t usually get to bed until the first hour or two of that is over, so the remaining five or six hours of sleep time are interrupted by multiple feedings; it seems as though after four hours of sleep, he must eat every hour to refill his system.
Maybe it’s the breastfeeding that’s knocking me on my butt. After all, it’s a calorie burn, not that it seems to be helping my butt size at all. I’m going to a wedding in 10 days, and I had hoped to be down another 10 lbs, but if the scale at the office (which we use for large packages) is even remotely correct, I actually weigh more than I did at my six-week checkup. Boo. And my pants size hasn’t changed in the previous six weeks, either.
It’s also possible that the exhaustion is due to hauling an infant around with me, the screaming he does in the car, and the heaviness of that car seat. Or, it could be the workouts I do twice or three times a week, plus running. Then again, maybe it’s that I’m not eating well or enough.
I don’t know. Suffice to say that I am tired, sore, have frequent headaches, and face a wardrobe crisis every morning.
Perhaps more shocking than the loop this week of work has thrown my body is the way it has sent my mind reeling with regards to the behavior of my baby. Who knew a baby could be so content at an office? Oh, sure, I had heard of people who take their kids to work with them, but Charles made it very clear during the month that I tried that that it would not work for him. I got nothing done, he screamed nearly the whole time, and ultimately, it was one giant hassle.
Jamie? He’s different. He likes his pak-n-play. He likes his mobile. He doesn’t mind chilling out for up to 45 minutes all alone. And that makes it possible for me to do meaningful work.
I think we’re going to be very happy at the office for quite awhile… which means, of course, that we’ll save quite a bit of money on daycare this year.