Tuesday, May 14, 2013

From the C & J Files

Four-Year-Old Logic:

 

“Mommy, I have a fever, but I’m not sick anymore.”

“Mommy?  Mom! I said, I’m still sick, I have a fever.”

“Mommy, I don’t like school and I have a cough and a fever.”

“Mommy, can I play on your phone or watch a little bit of a movie?”

“No, Charles, you’re fine, you’re going to school.”

“But Mo-ooom!  I’m still sick.  Can I have a video?”

“I already said ‘no,’ now put on your shoes.”
”But Mom, I said a video.  That’s different than a movie.”

 

*****

Career Aspirations:

 

“Mommy, when I grow bigger, I’m going to be Good Spider-Man.  But when Uncle Leland grows bigger, he’s going to be Bad Spider-Man.”

“Well, I’ll tell him to watch out for that, I guess.”

 

*****

Musical Selection:

 

“Ah!  Beeen-Bayne!” (Points to stereo)

“Ah!  Beeen-Bayne!” (Points more emphatically)

“Ah!  Beeen-Bayne!” (Begins to wail)

“Ah!  Beeen-Baaaaayne!” (Is now dramatically whining and flailing)

(Tony proceeds to take screaming toddler upstairs)

“Wait!  Jamie, do you want ‘Bing Bang’ song?”

“Aaaahhh.  Beeen-Bayne!”  (All smiles)

 

*****

Whom to Love

 

“Mommy!  Don’t call me ‘sweetheart!’”

“But you are my sweetheart!  And so is Jamie, and so is Daddy!”

“Daddy can’t be your sweetheart.”

“Why ever not?”

“Because he plays basketball in the morning.”

 

*****

Meals

 

“Mommy, what’s for dinner?”

“Chicken with rice and broccoli.”

“Oh!  I love that dinner!”

 

-or-

 

“Enchilada casserole.”

“Mommy, I don’t like that dinner.”

“Charles, you love that dinner.  There’s nothing in there you don’t like.  We had it last month and you ate all of it.”

“Oh.  Jamie, I love this dinner!  When I was little I ate all of this dinner so you should eat all of it, too.”

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