Well, that was a SPECTACULAR failure. By the time I was ready to pick up the kids at 3:30 yesterday, my tummy was rumbling with hunger and I only had 350 calories on the little calorie counter left to spend on dinner. Then I went to my Baby Boot Camp class and felt light-headed by about halfway through (but did I stop? No! I never quit! There are people watching, so I do more pushups and more jump squats and more more more!). The workout, which I classified on my “My Fitness Pal” (it is NOT my pal) app as “calisthenics,” was worth 500 calories, which I promptly spent on dinner of ranch chicken with rice and green beans. YOU try to eat a yummy dinner that doesn’t reach 800 calories. I came in juuuuuust barely under 1200 net calories for the day.
And I was miserable.
So I changed the app, because I’m not quite ready to give up yet, and lowered myself to losing 1/2 lb a week – which means that I will take approximately five months to lose 10 lbs. That’s discouraging in and of itself. But at least it gained me 200 calories to spend every day, soooo… oh, wait. Now that I’ve plugged lunch into the app, I can see that I have 425 calories to spend for the rest of the day. Unless I go for a run, then I will have 300 more. I fucking hate this.
That’s it. I’m done. I’m erasing this terrible app from my phone right now.
I am NOT fat. I know this, I truly do. And I eat really healthy food with the occasional treat. I don’t eat stuff I know to be super unhealthy (like pop), but I do enjoy good cheese, the occasional glass of wine, and I like to bake. I like real butter, and lots of it. I like to exercise
I don’t like worrying and fretting about what I’m putting into my mouth and I don’t like the sense of failure I have when I eat something that “costs” more calories.
Being fit is the goal, and I’m clearly not doing myself any favors by tracking what I eat. I certainly don’t want to pass out every time I exercise. Let’s just all be reasonable about this, m’kay? To hell with counting calories.
In other news, I got my hair cut:
I like it. It’s a bit choppy at the bottom, a really blunt cut, but I’ll probably have my lovely stylist add a few layers next time and all will be well with the world. In the meantime, I’m enjoying having a kicky little flip at the bottom, or softening the look by curling it under. It’s a nice change.