Friday, August 2, 2013

My Mood Mirrors the Weather

We woke up this morning to rain, which meant this:


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I know.  I can’t believe how cute he is, either.


But also, the rain… Tony started ripping shingles off of our roof yesterday, guys.  Oh, maybe you could say something like, “look at a weather forecast before you destroy what protects your house from the rain, for fuck’s sake” but that would be unkind.  And unhelpful.  It’s August, this is the first rain we’ve had in weeks, and these are the days we have to do this roof project.  No other days.  These days.  So poor Tony was out first thing this morning spreading tarps over the exposed roof.


And I?  Well, I was an emotional wreck last night.  I had the longest working day in recent memory yesterday, and it was stressful.  So many decisions are coming up, and they all are associated with some pretty hefty risk and one choice precludes another.  So.  I have to put on big girl panties and decide what I want and I don’t want to do that.  Because I am not independently wealthy, but because I am trying to become independently wealthy, I find that my dreams are mutually exclusive and damn if it isn’t hard to give up your dreams.  All in all, yesterday was the breaking point, but I’ve been leading up to it with increasing stress for weeks.


photo (28)


I’ll be shopping for some more bottles of wine today… strangely, my stash has been depleted over the past two weeks.  Coincidence?  I think not.


Today is a better day, as it usually is after you cry yourself to sleep over the stress and frustration and looming decisions in life, and I think things are again looking up.  It helps to have perspective: my children are adorable, my house probably won’t smell this bad forever, I can buy more wine.  The decisions I make in the coming months will affect my whole life, but isn’t that always true?

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