I had the first real scare of any of my pregnancies yesterday: after fighting terrible nausea all morning and struggling through a crashed server at work, I went home to find I was spotting blood.
My blood pressure immediately went through the roof.
I made myself calm down, but only after letting a few terrified sobs escape. I crawled into bed and tried to sleep. I tried to be sage about it all, telling myself that “spotting is completely normal” and “it will probably be gone by the time I have to pick the kids up from preschool.” It wasn’t, but by that time, I had to get Charles to swim lessons and put together snacks and think about what we would do for dinner. I distracted myself for a couple of hours, basically.
After swim lessons, I was passing clots of blood. Clots. I called Tony, then I called my doctor – who, thankfully, has extended office hours on Tuesdays. They got me right in, while the boys got to eat pizza at Costco and do my shopping for me.
The baby is fine – we heard a strong heartbeat. My cervix is tightly closed. The blood was likely a fluke, some fatigued blood vessel bursting and causing me to panic and worry. It’s unrelated to exercise and my doctor said that it happens in 50% of the pregnancies he sees.
But it’s never happened to me before, and it was terrible. I guess it also made me realize how much I already love, adore, and want this baby. This is it for us. To put my body through another pregnancy would be insane. Shit, I was up all last night being sick and I don’t feel much better today! My body is old and randomly busting open blood vessels. I don’t want to make you jealous or anything, but I’ve already gained TWENTY POUNDS this pregnancy, and I have nearly 25 weeks to go.
I’ll have another chance to hear baby’s heartbeat next week at a more “regular” appointment, along with, hopefully, a more “regular” blood pressure reading. Mine was understandably jacked up last night.
15 weeks and change – I do pregnancy BIG.