Late Pregnancy Woes

Things I have recently forgotten:

• To turn off my turn signal.  Sorry, I know.  I hate drivers like me, tooling along, signaling for a turn I never make or did make, but half a mile ago.  The turn signal in the van is SUPER quiet, and I am slowly losing my mind.
• My office keys, at home.  Not very convenient.
• An item (or two) on my grocery list.  Staring at me, right there on the list, and I don’t put it in my cart.  It’s like I don’t even see the words I wrote.

 

Things that hurt and/or are uncomfortable:

• Everything.
• Everything, especially my back, shoulders, hips, pelvis, and legs.
• Everything, especially my whole body when I’m trying to go from horizontal to vertical to go to the bathroom fifteen times a night.
• Everything, including my lower abdomen, which is where labor started the past two times for me, prompting me to freak out a little bit, abandon my evening walk with the dog, lie down and drink a bunch of water, and ultimately come to the conclusion that I am doing too much, all the time, and I definitely need to STOP LIFTING JAMIE regardless of how sick and pathetic he is.  (Not labor, don’t worry.)

 

Times I am tired during the day:

• All the time.
• Every hour.
• This morning when I got up.
• 20 minutes ago.
• Right now.
• 20 minutes from now.
• Later this evening.

 

Frequency with which I have parented alone this week after a hard, long day at work:

• Three out of five days.

 

Point in this pregnancy at which Tony is going on an overnight bachelor party for a friend:

• 38 weeks.

 

Point in this pregnancy at which Jamie will turn three years old and have a day-long birthday party, including bounce house, in our backyard:

• 38 weeks.

 

Difficult things I have recently tried to do but have found I am unable to do:

• Paint my toenails (why did I even try?).
• Paint Jamie’s toenails (requiring just as much crouching as painting my own).
• Weed the garden.
• Jog.
• Move full garbage cans.

 

Things I want to eat:

• Sugar.
• All the sugar.
• Do you have something sugary over there?
• Fruit.
• Fruity, sugary desserts.