Friday, June 6, 2014

Late Pregnancy Woes

Things I have recently forgotten:

  • To turn off my turn signal.  Sorry, I know.  I hate drivers like me, tooling along, signaling for a turn I never make or did make, but half a mile ago.  The turn signal in the van is SUPER quiet, and I am slowly losing my mind.
  • My office keys, at home.  Not very convenient.
  • An item (or two) on my grocery list.  Staring at me, right there on the list, and I don’t put it in my cart.  It’s like I don’t even see the words I wrote.


Things that hurt and/or are uncomfortable:

  • Everything.
  • Everything, especially my back, shoulders, hips, pelvis, and legs.
  • Everything, especially my whole body when I’m trying to go from horizontal to vertical to go to the bathroom fifteen times a night.
  • Everything, including my lower abdomen, which is where labor started the past two times for me, prompting me to freak out a little bit, abandon my evening walk with the dog, lie down and drink a bunch of water, and ultimately come to the conclusion that I am doing too much, all the time, and I definitely need to STOP LIFTING JAMIE regardless of how sick and pathetic he is.  (Not labor, don’t worry.)


Times I am tired during the day:

  • All the time.
  • Every hour.
  • This morning when I got up.
  • 20 minutes ago.
  • Right now.
  • 20 minutes from now.
  • Later this evening.


Frequency with which I have parented alone this week after a hard, long day at work:

  • Three out of five days.


Point in this pregnancy at which Tony is going on an overnight bachelor party for a friend:

  • 38 weeks.


Point in this pregnancy at which Jamie will turn three years old and have a day-long birthday party, including bounce house, in our backyard:

  • 38 weeks.


Difficult things I have recently tried to do but have found I am unable to do:

  • Paint my toenails (why did I even try?).
  • Paint Jamie’s toenails (requiring just as much crouching as painting my own).
  • Weed the garden.
  • Jog.
  • Move full garbage cans.


Things I want to eat:

  • Sugar.
  • All the sugar.
  • Do you have something sugary over there?
  • Fruit.
  • Fruity, sugary desserts.

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